New & Improved!
If you call in the next 30 minutes….!
These are a few of the most easily recognizable catch phrases for those night owls like me who get more than their fair share of classic TV reruns, pitches for whatever music collection TimeLife has put together, and opportunities to enhance our manhood.
The products are all different late at night:
Light weight body shapers for the less than shapely woman.
Some easy to store, lightweight and unbelievably effective exercise machine to give you sculpted abs, and a toned midsection.
Set it and forget it food processors, or juicers, or grilled cheese sandwich makers designed to appeal to the lazy among us who want “lean, healthy, quick and easy.”
Different products yes…
But the same exact pitch for all of them. They all follow the same formula of identifying (or inventing) a problem, criticizing all other solutions as being inadequate, and then showcasing their product as being simple, easy, and effective!!
It really doesn’t matter what their selling. The sales pitch is always the same. And if you don’t ORDER NOW, you will miss out on a great deal. In fact it’s a deal so great that if you call in the next thirty minutes, they will throw a cheese grater and paring knife FREE!
My favorite commercials though are the infomercials that sell some colon cleansing product or get rich in real estate system. Oh yes, those are the most fun. Instead of a model test kitchen, or a sculpted model rocking back and forth on the easy to use Abdominal Rocket, you get the smiling slick rags to riches millionaire who in just 10 minutes a day went from bankruptcy to bankrolled all by flipping through a phone directory or something like that. And if you use their easy to use system, you can make up to $10,ooo a week or more!!!
These systems are always sure things and guaranteed to work and have lots of testimonials, although one has to wonder if its working so well why the heck are they advertising at 3 in the morning?
One must ask the same question with the persistent sales pitch of the Obama administration concerning health care “reform.”
Why the rush?
And why do we have to order now!!!?
We hear over and over again the drumbeat of crisis in health care when most folks are quite honestly satisfied with their health care coverage. What began as a gambit to cover the 47 million uninsured (many of whom are uninsured only temporarily, by choice, or are in the country illegally) has now transformed into a full media blitz complete with testimonials of how single payer health insurance will either usher in a new era of peace and love or be the harbinger of the apocalypse.
Obama has gone on record saying that he wants people who “created the problem” to basically shut up and get out of the way. Who would those people be? Perhaps he means the Democrats who gave us the perennially deficit producing bloated Medicare fiasco, but somehow I doubt it. More likely he means that he wants people who oppose him to simply shut up and take their medicine, or refrain from taking as the case may be, whatever needs to happen to get the costs down.
The constant hucksterism of Obama’s administration is wearing thin on the American people’s nerves. Not many people have the stamina to listen night after night to commercials promising to enhance your manhood before they either cave in and buy from sheer curiosity or turn the television off. Even fewer are willing to invest their hard earned dollars in get rich quick real estate and work from home schemes that seem to promise much more than they deliver and inevitably lead to some investigative report on 20/20 where a naive middle American mom is crying because she was ripped off. Let’s hope that this same common sense prevails against the order now demands of the snake oil salesman in chief.